Student, “Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?”

Professor, “Surely I must. Otherwise, I would not be a professor!”

Student, “Great, well then, I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you do not know the answer, however, I want you to give me an ‘A’ for the exam.”

Professor, “Okay, it’s a deal. So what is the question?”

Student: “What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?”

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an ‘A’, as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers, “Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35-year-old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25-year-old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife’s lover an ‘A’, although he really should have failed, is neither legal nor logical.”

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.

“In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”

A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Will the Morons Please Stand Up.

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.

He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?”

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

“Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked.

The kid replied, “No, sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”