Bert and Edna’s Evening Ritual

On a quiet Sunday evening, Bert and Edna sit on their porch swing, sipping lukewarm tea and watching squirrels fight over a Cheeto. Married for 55 years, they share a peaceful moment as the sun sets. Edna suddenly suggests they talk about bucket lists. Bert jokes, claiming survival and remembering his pants is ambitious enough.

Edna urges him to dream big—he says he’s always wanted to skydive. She reminds him he fainted tying his shoes, but he insists, joking about haunting the neighbor if he falls. When Bert asks her dream, Edna reveals years of petty revenge. She sabotaged his recliner and TV remote out of playful vengeance.

Bert confesses too—his “fishing trips” were actually secret bowling sessions. He hid trophies in the basement, meaning Edna had tossed out a fake one years ago during a fight. They laugh together, the air filled with decades of love, mischief, and understanding. Eventually, they fulfill their dreams—Bert skydives, Edna gets a new recliner, and they go bowling together every Saturday.

Years later, they pass away in a car accident and arrive in heaven, where everything is free—golf, gourmet food, luxury living. When told he can eat anything without gaining weight, Bert snaps. “This is all your fault!” he yells at Edna. “If not for your healthy food obsession, we could’ve been here years ago!”

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